
Mid twenties. Former drummer of the teen pop band Venora he was in with his brother James during the late ‘90s. His smooth-cheeked days were behind him; stubble now always graced his jaw, chin, and upper lip. His eyes, however, had retained their faint look of amusement and boredom, and his mouth still remained on the verge of a perpetual smirk. Yet despite Wade’s obvious lack of vanity, his female fans continued to crave him and lamented on the internet about his apparent lack of interest in women, which didn’t imply an interest in men. Wade could care less about getting laid. Wade cared only about Wade. He would often monopolize interviews by sharing embarrassing anecdotes about his brother, interrupting James’ poignant points by screaming gibberish, and harassing reporters with deliberate misinterpretations, turn-of-phrases, and otherwise all-around theatrics. The fans, of course, had loved Wade; they still did. Even though he was often open about how “retarded” he thought they all were for condoning and enabling his rude behavior, that only made them worship him more, and he hadn’t been in the professional music scene for years. Instead, he plays drums in a cover band called Space Pharaohs between living off royalties and doing odd jobs here and there.
If Single, Cool and Fine: How to Get Laid as an Ex-Teen Idol was a movie, the character would be played by Michael Pitt.
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Lux Zakari
luxzakari@gmail.com
www.luxzakari.com